Thisness

At school I was a prime target for bullies. To avoid the inevitable I somehow managed to develop a way of evading them. I became invisible. I made myself disappear. I effectively suppressed myself out of existence in their eyes.

While I successfully avoided bullying confrontations I instead successfully inculcated a behaviour pattern that would fundamentally shape the rest of my life.

Although naturally introverted I added an extra developmental layer of passivity, quietude and avoidance. Instead of being present I retreat. Instead of standing up I remain seated. Instead of speaking out I stay silent.

I am grateful not to have suffered the direct consequences of bullying like so many of my peers but the bullies still managed to cast a different kind of shadow.

I’m not going to get carried away by my team, Sunderland AFC, making it to the playoff final at Wembley next Saturday.

They face a formidable opponent in Sheffield United and a win for us would be a remarkable achievement given that we’d lost all five of our previous matches prior to our semi-final victories over Coventry.

I was at Wembley with my son for another playoff final which we lost so I’m not tempted to get my hopes up. That said…

‘TIL THE END

Originally a one off on the BBC but now a series on ITV, The Assembly is currently my favourite TV show and the best thing I’ve seen on the box for… well, a very long time.

When a group of neurodiverse, autistic and individuals with learning disabilities interview celebrities, magic happens.

The first episode featuring Danny Dyer is a thing of great beauty. A rare example of a stereotypically, masculine ‘man’s man’ allowing himself to be authentically vulnerable and demonstrating great sensitivity. Very moving. It’s also hilarious too. I can’t remember a show where I cried with emotion and laughter within the space of a few minutes.

I’m not bingeing it (although I really want to!) but only watching one episode at a time, to savour it like a fine wine.